The Song of Solitude

The trains are calling, the clock is running, my mind is roaming, and the station is cloaked in silence. The song of solitude feels endless. Its an acquired taste that is seemingly never acquirable. And while the hours go by while I travel the unpredictable road each minute Im certain of one thing, that I will be traveling alone. With each conversation I instigate will come the same questions and answers. Because every time with every stranger, you seem to only scratch the surface. The depth isn't there and the most real laughs aren't possible. The price of independent travel is loneliness but what you receive in compensation is invaluable. I have seen, heard, and tasted. Touched, realized, and immersed myself in things people only dream of. Presently I am in Calais. A pristine oceanic town on the sun drenched shores of northeast France. My goal is Normandy. The all to familiar bar with my all to familiar Stella Artois glass with its all to familiar gold encrusted rim is dauntingly familiar. My worry is that being alone causes one to repeat the past. If I don't have a old friend along then I will go to a time-tested place where I can relax. But without that friend that place becomes sought out to often. On the other hand I wonder how I will feel when my freedom of listening to the song of solitude over a superb Stella is taken away back at home. For the next couple years it will be illegal for me to be a pub aficionado, or an adventurer of unseen lands. It is this very dilemma that brings me to my current state of mind. I need something new everyday just to forget that I'm working within the borders of the same pattern. Like a constant game of monopoly I keep moving different distances every time, hoping to land of something new, something that will help me keep rolling the dice until the end. I'm trying to learn to walk on my hands, paint in water color, and plan to join a wine course. These things, all obscure, are making me the kind of character that I seek out. The genre of person I buy a drink for, and I'm happy for that. I only hope that my travels and experiences make me a character in the eyes of the people at home. Because if I'm not a character, if you are not a character, then what is our role in the grand play of Life?


-Chad A. Dokken